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Bladesong News

It's not often I get to be lazy enough to use the same title for an update twice in a row. So thanks Blizzard you the real MVP. Anyway as I mentioned last week we were painfully close to killing Hans and Franz sooooo yeah. This one's for you Plushy Giznat! R.I.P.

HansFranz

In what's become an awesome pattern of almost being impressive we very nearly killed flamebender the same night. We are nothing if not consistent though so my guess is we kill it next week and then wipe to Kromog at 4%, fingers crossed everybody!

Another good week of raiding Mythic in BRF. We had a pretty good feeling of what it would take to beat Oregorger from trying him some the week before. I was so confident we would beat him this week that I threatened to kill a defenseless plushy should we not get him. Lucky for Plushy Giznat AKA favorite Giznat in guild we were able to pull off the win pretty quickly.

 That was a close one plushy Giznat

We did so well in fact that we almost killed hans and franz on mythic (they will die next reset.) For those of you who know me I tend to be pretty pessimistic when it comes to guild progression as anything that can go wrong seems to go wrong the majority of the time. I don't know what was different this week I just had a good feeling we were gonna drop two bosses. Sadly we came a few % short. In order to fill the hole left in my heart by failing to go 4/10M this week someone had to pay....

 R.I.P. Highest DPS Giznat

I'm so sorry Plushy Giznat. You had a good run as our second highest DPS elemental shaman but sacrifices must be made if you want to raid at an elite level on 8 hours a week. I'm dedicating our next Mythic kill to you, and in your honor we have set up a scholarship fund for bad elemental shaman to learn how to play. 

So I have been pretty terrible at updating lately. We have been messing around in Mythic for weeks and I haven't managed to make a single kill post. We killed Beastlord Darmac on our 12th pull ever. I took a screenshot of it. 

Beastlord darmac

That's clearly not the screenshot I took, But I had to move the same weekend that we killed it and I got a new computer the same weekend. Since the screenshot was on my old computer and I'm very lazy I didn't bother getting it off my old machine. This is one of the images that comes up on google for beastlord though so I'm pretty sure it's close to the real deal. We also spent a night on Oregorger learning how to interrupt and do cooldown rotations correctly. Sadly we had to call it a night before we got him. 

Speaking of cooldown rotations <--- Sweet internet segway to my next topic. Do you know who requires cooldown rotations? Gruul Mythic does! It took us about 2 nights of working on him but we got the puzzle solved. The hardest part was knowing where to stand for the picture. 

We stand guud

As you can see we haven't quite mastered that one yet. To be fair Lances was not the only one off camera for half of the dozen screenshots I took for this god forsaken web page update, this just happened to be the one the most people were in so in a rare move (We never photoshop web page updates here at Bladesong.) I decided to edit him back in the picture. I realize he fits in seamlessly but you're going to have to trust me I totally shopped him in. Oregorger dies soon! Or Plushy Giznat gets it.

Nelthar Marc Singer as the Beastmaster... damn, that's old school.
Lances Oh mah gawd. I got photoshopped in! I feel so special!

Quick someone go explain to Blizzard how to scale damage based on number of players! Tweet them about it or Twat them or whatever you kids do these days. Math is hard. We have been working on Heroic Blackhand for WEEKS. In large part due to the fight not scaling very well when we only have 3 healers due to computers blowing up, vacations, weather, hobo stabbings, or cats being on fire. It's quite a bit harder than any other heroic fight and honestly should probably be toned down just a little and actually made to scale with raid size. Once we had the correct number of healers and 20 people we made short work of him.

 Smackhand

We start work on Mythic next week. Still looking for a healer and a few talented DPS. As long as you can deal with Chet making his "O" face as a giant tree like the image above you will probably fit right in...perverts.

mudkipzz Man who's that sexy ass tree ...

The source of the recent cold weather outburst in the United States was traced back to Bladesong. Scientists have confirmed by putting out the Blast Furnace they have caused a "polar vortex" to form. Welcome to the day after tomorrow assholes. I hope you're real proud of yourselves.

Nismo tried to get a handy from the dead elemental. His dick fell off. R.I.P. Mexico 

I wanted to give a special shout out to Blizzard for allowing us to spam them with tweets every 20 seconds when we loot a green item. 6.1 SO GOOD! 

Stru a The ice stone is melting!
Bagels a Its okay. Us, Canadians will survive the cold.
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