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Bladesong News

Archimonde is awesome in that he's pretty easy until 25% and then a giant DPS/healing check slaps you in the face like every girl nismo's ever asked out. We probably should have gotten a kill last week but what can you do. We were clearly torn up about losing our best pooper and needed a week to recover.  

Only wiping 37 times on a boss it took the rest of the server 70+ attempts on.

So sweet

We did have a few people finish legendary rings this week as well. Nismo has only almost killed me with the damage sharing proc from the tank ring once so that's some pretty solid design choices blizzard. I don't know about the rest of you but I can't wait to farm archimonde 73 more times to get my ring to max level. Really just some solid choices all around.

#JustBlizzardThings

I juat want to state this in advance, We will kill 2 Mythic bosses tomorrow, and I'm not going to make an update when we do because they are not worth it. Also we killed Archimonde with Nismo tanking, AND without our number 2 DPS AND with a cop in the raid. We are pretty much playing with one hand tied behind our backs and still keeping up with the rest of the server. You guys need to get your shit together.

#DropsTheMic

Snoop Penis.
Nelthar I'M NOT A COP!!!!
Pins a It's photoshopped to look this way on purpose like all those stupid #justboyfriendthings are.....you're ruining the damn ...

Come on in, have some warm cookies he said. What could go wrong I thought as I stepped into his alternate dimension. He tried to kill me. Never trust a dreadlord. I should have known by the name dreadlord that cookies were not on the menu. Son of a...Whatever I killed him...why's everyone looking at me funny It was self defense. 

I didn't touch him!

Nismo took the news really well...

Nisblow

I tried to comfort him...

lawl

In other less awesome news, we killed heroic Tyrant on our first night of seeing her. On to Mannoroth!

Tyrant heroic

Nelthar I am really glad I was on to watch the above exchange go down.

I was planning on updating much sooner, but we just kept killing bosses so I decided to wait. In case you haven't tried it out yet. 6.2 is pretty good if you forget about what a giant pain shipyards end up being. Tanaan Jungle is fun although I'm not a huge fan of the rep grinds they put in. Farming up equipment for ships is also REALLY fun. Even when 30 other people are trying to prevent you from killing a whale shark by trying to evade bug it or despawn it because they suck monkey nuts....

WhaleWar2015, never forget

But I digress. They added fun things too! Like the above mentioned Dazzling Rod Team. (We are going pro as soon as a league forms.) This is Krelus somehow cheating and stunning me while we all wait for rare spawns for yet another equipment drop...

DazzleRodChamps

On to the stuff people care about though. Hellfire Citadel is pretty amazing. It has some pretty stupid fights (Hellfire assault comes to mind) and some pretty amazing ones (Shadow lord Iskar, Xhul, maybe even Fel Lord Zakuun when I stop being mad about him.) At the time of my posting we are ranked 250ish in the world at 10/13H.

 Shadow lord

The whole team worked pretty hard to get to this point. Some of these fights on Mythic are going to be pretty scary. We even had people come in on an off day to get a few more bosses down since we knew we could do it. Some of them are not included in pictures because they constantly hearth to check on 4 day long shipyard missions but still it's a kill shot.

Heroic Xhul, Mix that fire

Also I thought you should know I tried to take a selfie with everyone but I don't think I did it right. I'm pretty sure I'm too fat to get anyone else in the picture.

Fatty Mcfatterson

Yep. I'm that good. We may not be done yet this week! Hellfire so fun!

I decided to change the colors of the website to green so we could pretend we are FEL BLADESONG. It's exciting and new content right? right? See what I did there. 

Anyway we have a NEW content patch coming out Tuesday with 13 new bosses to kill so that's exciting. It does however mean for the last time Bladesong will be saying goodbye to a raid tier without clearing it on Mythic. We have improved every single raid for the last two years and this will be no different. We had a few painfully close attempts on Maidens (at least one dead with the others sub 10%) so I think we would have been 8/10M. Alas time was not on our side. We did go back and kill a few of the bosses we failed at pretty hard growing into a mythic guild...

Brakenbored

and the bane of our highmaul existance... McLovin is not good at pictures.

Tectus? More like Wreckedus

Our roster is stronger than it has ever been and we have new tricks up our sleeve for 6.2 (Logs is getting snipped IRL..... that's really our trump card.) We want to finish this one 13/13M in the top 10 on Zul'jin. I have no doubt with logs being half the man he use to be we can make that happen. We also have a firm rule that Giznat has to poop at least an hour before the raid in order to be on time/safe. Nismo is not allowed within 100 feet of small children or stuffed animals per a VPO, and we started zaying Zazin's name correctly (You say it like Pazzazz-N) 

Truth101

FEL-BLADESONG - We can't fucking lose.

Zathien I'm very green and glowy in those pics ... I was fel before it was cool.

I'm going to take tonight's update as a chance to be brutally honest with you. Bladesong is better than your guild. We raid 7.5 to 9 hours a week and I can't remember the last time we failed to kill a new boss in a week. I've tried to soften the blow by making witty jokes about Giznat's asshole, or killing off stuffed animals, but really at some point it's just insulting your intelligence to pretend we aren't awesome. I mean it's Thursday and we killed another new Mythic boss that guilds struggle on for weeks. This is my shocked face ----> yell I'm just messing with you that's my pooping face, and you totally made eye contact.

WTF is wrong with you?

Run a train on Bagels

I'm really pretty proud of how far we have come in such a short time. I mean everyone has really stepped it up...except Giznat. I mean it's not like it's hard to sit at home on an inflatable donut while your anal fissure heals up. But I digress I'm reverting back to my old ways. We still have maybe 2 spots left for exceptional DPS. If you are a terrible DPS please feel free to apply directly with Nismo and explain to him in great detail why you only did 24k DPS on your current guilds last Mythic Gruul kill. He really enjoys that stuff. If you will excuse me I'm going to start working on my Mythic Maiden update now so that it will actually be funny by next week. 

Giznat Hey, I can do 60k DPS as Enhance... just sayin BTW IM BACK! POOP BREAKS ARE BACK IN FULL EFFECT!
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