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Bladesong News

Quick someone go explain to Blizzard how to scale damage based on number of players! Tweet them about it or Twat them or whatever you kids do these days. Math is hard. We have been working on Heroic Blackhand for WEEKS. In large part due to the fight not scaling very well when we only have 3 healers due to computers blowing up, vacations, weather, hobo stabbings, or cats being on fire. It's quite a bit harder than any other heroic fight and honestly should probably be toned down just a little and actually made to scale with raid size. Once we had the correct number of healers and 20 people we made short work of him.

 Smackhand

We start work on Mythic next week. Still looking for a healer and a few talented DPS. As long as you can deal with Chet making his "O" face as a giant tree like the image above you will probably fit right in...perverts.

mudkipzz Man who's that sexy ass tree ...

The source of the recent cold weather outburst in the United States was traced back to Bladesong. Scientists have confirmed by putting out the Blast Furnace they have caused a "polar vortex" to form. Welcome to the day after tomorrow assholes. I hope you're real proud of yourselves.

Nismo tried to get a handy from the dead elemental. His dick fell off. R.I.P. Mexico 

I wanted to give a special shout out to Blizzard for allowing us to spam them with tweets every 20 seconds when we loot a green item. 6.1 SO GOOD! 

Stru a The ice stone is melting!
Bagels a Its okay. Us, Canadians will survive the cold.

We had been wiping on Iron Maiden Heroic for a few days. For those of you not yet to that point let me just say the 9-10 minutes it takes to get them down to 20% and start the real fight is a joy to repeat over and over again. For those of you not yet familiar with sarcasm you are super good looking and smart. But I digress..... We tried a number of strategies that just didn't work for us, and although this didn't end up getting us the kill Orca Team 6 was my favorite.

What like you haven't done some cosplay? 

After blubbering them to death didn't work out we changed the kill order, I yelled a lot, people focused, and we actually killed them. I'm posting the kill shot because unlike the majority of bosses before this, Iron Maidens actually feels pretty heroic. I'm really looking forward to seeing them on mythic. Again if you have not been introduced to sarcasm your getting a master course right here, you devilishly cute smarty pants you! But I post more pretty pictures...

We wore three girls out at the same time, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Now we are going to start working on heroic blast furnace which we have all been really looking forward to almost as much as our girlfriends getting us fleshlights for valentines day. We really are living in a dream world. Unicorn Poop.

The only boss we killed in week one that was probably worth a screenshot:

 

No you touch my bellybutton!

We have been working our way through heroic and I expect we will have a few more screenshot worthy kills soon. If not I will just start posting pictures of the terrible players I will remove from the guild instead! It's really a win win for me. It's the necromonger way.

 

P.S. - Tectus if you are reading this go fuck yourself.

As predicted, my guild hates me. No sooner did I update the website then they killed another mythic boss. 24 attempts and an almost flawless kill. Next raid week (of 7.5 hours, because we are super hard core) The goal is to kill either Brakenspore or Tectus, and since I'm making this update one of them will probably die. I'm going to post a picture of the kill, but as Photobucket has taken to randomly censoring my photos it might just be a giant penis to fuck with them... view at your own risk. 


This picture is a Giant Penis, you should clearly ban it.

If I'm being totally honest the first two bosses of highmaul we have killed on mythic were pretty easy. We did do a few pull's on Braken and he seems a good deal more involved. I'm looking forward to continuing to make other guilds who spend far more time on raiding look bad in the near future. I'm not looking forward to the updates though. Fuck you guys.

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