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Bladesong News

Sometimes you just need a good slap in the face. It was apparently our turn this week as we started off strong and then completely failed on one of the "easy" bosses in the zone. After getting the boss to something like 16% last night in under 20 pulls I thought for sure we would kill it in less than 30 total. After all we are Bladesong that's kind of what we do. We decided to take most of tonight off apparently and as it turns out you can't phone in new boss kills. We did eventually kill Fel Lord Zakuun, but not until almost the last pull of the night at a staggering 49 total attempts. He died and I wasen't even happy about it, I had to not talk to prevent from yelling about it while doing loot. When I did talk a bad time was had by all....

We sucked this week, but he still died:

who cares

I don't want my entire post to be negative though. We did actually kill a new boss and people got some upgrades they wanted, and I'm sure people will use this as a valuable lesson in focusing and taking things a bit more seriously next time. So I'll try and end on a lighter note. As the raid leader of Bladesong I get a lot of interesting tells and see a lot of things said in guild chat that just leave me shaking my head. Here are just a few.

dat ass doe

This is my life

Technically if Jed reads this update, I didn't tell him you want a fat chick - you did.

And finally a little motivation for next weeks raids...


P.S. - Happy birthday to the third best tank in Bladesong! One more year and nismo's legal! 

When last we talked I was still in a state of shock from having killed the guild destroyer that was gorefiend. I did say was - not because we killed him, but because he took a huge nerf AFTER we killed him again this week. Which reminds me big congrats to the guilds that managed to kill the much easier version of him HUGE accomplishment you guys are amazing. (What font do you use for sarcasm? I'm asking for a friend)

But on to the real reason for my update. As expected with the flood gates open we made short work of a few new mythic bosses. Sorc is a grueling test of whether or not your DPS could find their interrupt buttons. Once that was accomplished he coughed up some sweet sweet way too good to be dropping from a boss this easy loot. This is normally the type of boss I'd forget to take a screen shot of because who cares, but since he was our 7th mythic kill of the instance I felt like we were pretty much obligated to.

Srs Bsns

Anyone ever notice Xhands is always looking the wrong way in pictures? I'd like to think he's already looking ahead to the next trash pack trying to figure out what he can starfall to pull extra of. 

We were very very close to killing Iskar as well in our first new night of progression. I believe on pull 4 or 5 we got him to 14% or something crazy, but sadly we ran out of time. It appeared we were BOUND to end up 7/13M like some common street rat taking nerfed boss kills to keep from starving to death in the cold cold streets of Zul'jin. We decided that if enough people showed up on Sunday for our optional raid we would give it a few more attempts before clearing the zone on heroic. I admit it was a long shot, but YOLO am I right? Seriously did I use that right? Someone hip let me know.

19 raiders and one extremely good social later:


Seriously I swear Xhands is STILL looking for mobs to pull....

It would appear Fel Lord Zakuun can expect a visit from us this week.....

We need a rogue, If you are not crappy feel free to apply.

Nelthar The Wild Combo is escaping! Someone catch him!

After something like 180 pulls, 47923 curse words, 2 accidental tank pulls, 11 pulls with Skype on and Mumble off, 74 pulls with mystery doomwells dropped in the middle of the room, one 7% wipe, and ZERO DK's online - we killed the most balanced boss in HFC. You can take your 759 legendary rings and shove them up your ass, because they will not help you kill Mythic Gorefiend. Only pain and death will help you. We are about to run a god damn train on the upper floor. 

Not Pictured - The hunter that ran off after the kill. Who knows?


Seriously this boss is so messed up Denethore is good at it. It makes no sense. Plushie Zombie Giznat even showed up for the kill. I don't even know what else to say right now. I'm so sick of seeing this boss I can't wait to kill new things. Like Kellethz streams whiny alt rock says "let the bodies hit the floor" or something like that? 

Let the sub par applications rain in from the sky! (Seriously though I really want a DK please apply.)

Furíous This boss is aids, and probably cancer as well. Does this mean Archimonde is Ebola?

I'm sure by now you've seen the news about former subway spokesman Jared Fogle. No one was more shocked by it than our very own Nismo. When he met Jared they had an instant connection (based on their love for cramming their holes with 6 inches...and rainbows.) After the scandal broke Nismo of course denied ever having spent time with Jared. Our local law enforcement officer Nelthar worked a bit of his magic however and found some proof.

He'll toast your sub

As you can see Nismo clearly liked to toast his subs.... He finally owned up to knowing him after he saw the proof.

But being the kind hearted guild we are we were all very respectful of the situation:


more stuff

Eventually we felt bad enough for him we decided to kill a new mythic to cheer him up:

Nismo cries like a girl

As you can see only 6 or so of us stayed around to witness nismo sitting down crying afterwards. It was a touching scene. Hopefully he can put Jared behind him...wait that's probably not the best way to say that. 


Bagels a awe poor Nismo...
Nismo Hahahahah OMFG THE PHOTOSHOP IM SO DELIGHTED. Can't stop fucking laughing

I was recently called an asshole by a former member of the guild, and to be fair I totally am. Clearly they are a former member for a reason, but it did get me thinking a lot about where Bladesong is and where I want it to be as a raiding guild. We are a low raid hour guild by nature. Most of us don't have the time to commit to raiding 5 nights a week or more so we only do 3 manditory raids of no more than 3 hours normally. In order to make up for this we try to be as prepared as possible when it comes to new encounters. Be that watching videos, studying logs, or reading forums we do our homework. It pays off in a whole lot less time dicking around and a whole lot more time killing bosses, and I'm pretty comfortable with that set up.

As my teenage idol Scrooge McDuck once said, "Work smarter not harder (motherfuckers)" 

I wanna swim in gold coins.

To be completely honest it's been a long time since I saw that cartoon, I may not be quoting him accurately but I'm pretty sure I nailed it. We spend roughly half the time/attempts the guilds keeping up with us do on new boss kills (that we know of, because some of them stopped making logs public due to overwhelming shame.) I guess what I'm trying to say is....Thank's for only being half retarded Bladesong, keep up the marginal work!

Corndog died a few weeks ago but I'm working smarter not harder and grouped his update with other stuff, thanks scrooge you my boy.


We also killed the non bugged version of Mythic Council in about 40 less attempts than other guilds on our server...but I wouldn't know anything about that. 

Bound sucks, deadbeat dads sucks more.

Seriously when you are raiding 5 days a week to keep up with us, can you just quit wow and give us your 3 good players? It will just be less awkward for everyone involved. 

Soem There's a reason why he's the leader, I berieve.
Nismo Damn Pins is a nigga with attitude
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