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Bladesong News

A real sausage fest.

Pins a posted Aug 18, 14
Hello and welcome back to our wonderful slice of capitalism. Syrup sales since we last talked have been through the roof. Our guild bank makes Oprah look like a transient! I've always said the best thing about being rich is it making you better than everyone else, but besides that it's so much easier to make even more money!

Two weeks ago we decided to branch out and get into the breakfast sausage market. That's right Jimmy Dean pack up your bags it's closing time. Now you might think "But Pins, how could you take something as good as sausage and make it better?" The answer is really quite simple. You use real dinosaur meat instead of that stupid pig stuff. I want my meat to taste like it's lived a full life of killing scared helpless creatures (like pigs) so you can taste the fear in every bite!

Tastes like chicken!

This isn't just any dinosaur meat stick, it's a HEROIC meat stick. We get a new shipment in every week so put your order in now while supplies last! On a completely unrelated note I am supposed to include this other picture....

We take raiding seriouslyness

Wait....shit that was from our break mid raid.. we drink sometimes. It was Krelus fault? Here this picture....this is the one for sure.

I always knew it bagels... 

Ohh how did that get in there. My bad It's probably this picture...

The solid 7 bites the dust!

Okay yeah that one for sure. We clearly warglaived him to death! Looking forward to some blackfuse progression this week! EXPLOSIONS!!!! 

The Syrup Syndicate

Pins a posted Jul 6, 14  -  Heroic SpoilsRaidsSoO
To be one of the top guilds in the world....of Warcraft it takes a lot of things. Great leadership, a handsome cow tank, solid strategies, a skilled group of players, and a can do attitude come to mind. But what about the real cost of raiding? Flasks don't make themselves, armor doesn't magically repair itself, and noodle carts are 'spensive bro. So how is it that we manage to keep this well oiled killing machine running? Well I'm glad you asked! Let's listen in for a moment on a few of bladesongs brightest, most handsome young minds to see what the secret is....


This is a totally real not staged conversation!

I know I know! You want to know more about this incredible steal of a deal? Well it's your lucky day because we just so happen to have quite a bit available for immediate sale today!

So good when it hits your lips!

That's right! The finest loin syrup you have ever guzzled is now available for mass purchase! Why haven't you heard of this before you must be wondering? Well we have been selling it for quite a while but we never had the space to mass produce and store our product until recently. Apparently Hellscream was using this area to store bugs and statues but we cleared it out to use it for a slightly less gross business venture...

You can taste the love!

I would have posted about this sooner but I've been busy working on the syrup farm to make sure we can match our new storage capacity as well as trying to kill a giant dinosaur that keeps trying to get free samples nearby. We almost got him last week so I expect him to stop meddling in our business soon. Our prices are so low I'm not legally allowed to post them on the site! So contact Logathil, Strudel, or myself and we will be happy to place your order. We give deep discounts to anyone wanting to order an entire load of syrup so tell your friends. The gold plated shark tanks in our garrisons aren't going to buy themselves!

 
Bagels a ***** (5 stars) I knew I was drinking something special the first time I tasted Bladesong family farms organic loin sy ...

To say that it's been a while since I updated would probably be a gross understatement. Which is why I feel the need to tell everyone the story of why it's been so long. In fact I think it might be better to just show you what happened instead. Our story begins one fateful night, the best guild in the world had just managed to down Heroic Dark Shaman.....


The only time it's ever harder to be on the bottom!

When all of the sudden a noise could be heard in the distance. It was the faint ring of a cheap cell phone somewhere deep inside Garrosh's stronghold...


Screw you photobucket
Garrosh underpays his employees, that's the joke here. You're welcome.
OMG and now a balls joke, will this post never cease to get more classy?
Nope, we don't stop
Fin

Over the course of the next few days some curious events played out....


Where does he store the phone you ask? Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to..
YES I AM AWESOME
You just killed heroic dark shaman, whats next? I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!
So much comic!

For some reason we were under staffed for a few weeks. And so Malkorok lived for quite a while. He got pretty good at throwing his balls at people, which as it turns out is surprisingly more effective then it sounds on paper. Needless to say the first time we actually got our full raid team together we two shot him.  


We stopped gobbling balls.

Heroic Spoils is next, unless someone pays for a trip to Cedar Point!


Bagels a *insert random Logathil-type reply* : "Of course, I have the stick of truth... here in my pants !! muwahaha"
Wukong Logathil owns the stick of truth? should i be scared for my life?
Scarrow a Bravo, Pins! Although I'm sad you didn't include my weeklong absence due to work! I demand a re-edit! ...
This week we worked on Heroic Malkorok. I didn't count any deaths or faults to anyone for that boss this week due to the fact we were just getting used to handling the mechanics (and yet we were making progress!) so we had a LOT of people in the running for MVP this week.

This week's winners are:

1st - Krelus! 37 pulls & Zero deaths!
2nd - Zaganzee! 39 pulls & 3 deaths
3rd - Logathil 38 pulls & 2 deaths

Honorable mentions to...essentially everyone else...most raiders had less than 1 death in 10 pulls! Great job everybody! If we still got guild experience, I'd say we leveled up!
This past week was absolutely FANTASTIC here at Bladesong. We killed Heroic Dark Shamans (in only 7 pulls!) and put the farm-boss woes to thorough rest after last week. Iron Juggernaught AND Nazgrim went down in flaming GLORY!

On to my MVPs for the week:

1st - Logathil once again! with 25 pulls & only 3 deaths
2nd - Krelus as a Peon! with 21 pulls & only 2 deaths 

As a special note, if the formula I used were slightly different these two would be reversed...math is fun. Keeping to the same formula for consistencies sake!

Instead of a 3rd place I'd like to award THREE Honorable Mentions:

Strudel with 16 pulls & zero deaths!
Betatrax with 13 pulls & zero deaths!
Bagels with 10 pulls & zero deaths!

For the rest of us - your goal next week is to bind your warlock cookie to something where you can spam the hell out of it at a moment's notice. We need to devour moar souls next week! :)
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